we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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