Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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