I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize