I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
