oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
