Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Just got yelled at by a priest...again.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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(417): View more from Missouri

you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up

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(917): View more from New York City

I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

The family next to you was not pleased

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(512): View more from Texas

it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house

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(551): View more from New Jersey

So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.

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(561): View more from Florida

I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint

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