Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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