I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we're so committed to being not committed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
