shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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