You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
