That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
True strength comes from lack of pants
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
