What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
