just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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