i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
