they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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