am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
