I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
