as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
