i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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