I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
