Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
