I can tuck mytits in my pants
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.