I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize