this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
