I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize