I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
