Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
