Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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