I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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