I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
