im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
