what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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