You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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