I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
