Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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