Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
