Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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