Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
