Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
