my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize