mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
