i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
