We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
