i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
