Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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