Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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