do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
