you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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