State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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