I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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