Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's always time for handjobs
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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