Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
