Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she looked like the before picture.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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