Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
