He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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