I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
