she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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