Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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