It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
