So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
